


safe with you

by hello_illegirl



Category: IU (Musician), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Attacks, Anxious Jeon Jungkook, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I LOVE GLASSES JK, I don't know what I'm doing, Jeon Jungkook Has ADD/ADHD, Jeon Jungkook Wears Glasses, Jieun Is An Angel, Long-Haired Jeon Jungkook, Music Major Jieun, Music Student Min Yoongi | Suga, Piano, University Student Jeon Jungkook, Voice Major Lee Jieun, jieun plays with jungkook's hair, lol, the author is a piano nerd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29810496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hello_illegirl/pseuds/hello_illegirl
Summary: jungkook has an anxiety attack in front of jieun, the beautiful music major he just met while waiting for yoongi. but instead of running away from jungkook, jieun stays and takes care of him until he's betteror: jieun plays with jungkook's hair, snuggles him, and sings to him when he's having a difficult moment, and he might be in love
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook & Lee Jieun | IU, Jeon Jungkook/Lee Jieun | IU
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> tw: anxiety attack - pls don't read if this content will trigger you or make you uncomfortable!!
> 
> i honestly don't expect anyone to see this little story, but i wanted to post it here for fun 😃 this was basically me just writing what anxiety attacks feel like for me, and what helps me get through them
> 
> also, i'm kinda new to IU - i just started listening to her music over the past year and i don't know her personality very well yet, so if this doesn't sound like her at all ... sorry 🥲

jungkook waits outside the music building with his coat wrapped tightly around him, his heavy backpack weighing him down. yoongi said he was coming to open the door 5 minutes ago but now he isn’t answering his phone and it’s  _ freezing _ . 

“come  _ onnnn _ yoongi-hyung,” jungkook whispers, pushing his glasses up his cold nose. he huffs and starts doing deep squats to keep warm (and stay fit - why not multitask?). 

he’s about to run sprints when the door clicks open - he’s ready to complain about his hyung leaving him for dead in the snow but it’s not yoongi staring back at him.

“jungkook-ssi?” says a sweet, very non-yoongi voice. jungkook’s eyes widen as he takes in the girl with the long, wavy brown hair and beautiful, soft eyes standing in the doorway.

“you’re jungkook-ssi, right?” she asks, raising an eyebrow and smiling. 

jungkook nods, bouncing up and down to keep warm. 

she laughs. “ok, good. yoongi said you’d look like a big, emo, bespectacled bunny, and that made no sense at the time but wow, he was right!” the girl laughs. jungkook needs to know how people are allowed to be this pretty. pretty people make him so goddamn nervous, and he’s already anxious enough as it is. “yoongi sent me to let you in and tell you he might be a minute. he got called in to help one of the percussion majors with a composing emergency, whatever that means. i’ll take you to his practice room though!”

she pushes the door open further, motioning for him to enter. as he brushes by her, she stops him by the backpack strap and looks up into his bewildered eyes. “jungkook-ssi, if you tell the dean i let you in this building, and especially into a grand piano practice room, i will find you and i will have my revenge.”

jungkook’s eyes widen even more. she bursts out laughing and pulls him through the doorway by his backpack strap. “just kidding. but seriously please don’t tell anyone i let you in here. i could get in trouble.”

jungkook nods. “ok, i won’t say anything, um ...”

“oh! i’m jieun. i’m yoongi’s partner for our senior composition project. yoongi said you’re a first year, right?” jungkook nods. “you can call me noona, jungkook-ssi.”

“nice to meet you jieun-noona. you can call me jungkook.” she smiles and starts walking down the hallway, motioning for him to follow. it takes a moment for his feet to cooperate - he’s still processing how beautiful she is, and that they exist in the same universe, at the same school. he stomps the snow off his big, black boots and scurries after her. 

“are you a piano major like yoongi-hyung?” jungkook bravely asks as she winds them around two corners to the grand piano room at the back. 

“no, i’m studying voice. i do play piano though - i was as good as yoongi was when we started here, but now he’s far surpassed my skill level after four years. i play guitar too though. and drums a bit.”

_ oh my god i love you _ , jungkook thinks silently—definitely not out loud. 

“do you have much time for your other instruments? i know from yoongi-hyung that music majors have like ... negative amounts of free time,” jungkook laughs quietly. 

jieun stops in front of the corner room with the steinway grand piano. “voice majors are a bit different - if i practiced 6 hours a day like yoongi, i’d ruin my instrument,” she smiles, tapping her throat. “i’m only required to practice an hour a day, so i keep my guitar here and try to get in a few minutes of practice after i finish the vocal pieces i’m working on.” 

jieun unlocks the door then uses all of her body weight to open the thick, glass, soundproof mass, while telling jungkook he can get settled and wait for yoongi. 

“it was nice to meet you, jungkook! welcome to university.” 

she turns around to leave when jungkook courageously blurts out, “have you finished practicing today?” 

“yeah, i just finished my harmonic scale practice on guitar - i was about to dig into my jazz theory reading assignment in my practice room.”

“oh. um. well...” jungkook shifts uncomfortably, growing hot in his coat. “do you maybe wanna do your reading in here? i’ll be super quiet!”

she quirks an eyebrow. “i mean, i can - why?”

“um, well, i can’t really focus on my work when i’m by myself—that’s why i came here, so i could study while yoongi-hyung practices—and if you were gonna read anyway...”

jieun squints at him. “are you hitting on me?”

jungkook panics. “oh my god! no! i mean, you are like,  _ so _ so beautiful and i’d love to hear you sing because your speaking voice is so lovely, so i don’t want you to think that i think you’re unattractive...” 

jungkook winces, knowing that was inappropriate. time to change the subject … um … 

“but no, i have adhd and it’s just this thing i realized recently? i can’t focus unless someone’s with me. and i know it sounds like babysitting but it’s not - it’s grounding to have someone nearby. or something. fuck, i didn’t mean to tell you about my mental health. and shit, i didn’t mean to cuss. i mean. damn! i’m sorry.” 

jungkook’s heart crumples. he hates it when he loses control of his mouth like this. “you can just go—never mind,” he whispers. 

he stomps in the room and drops his backpack on the ground, then slides his back down the wall, plops on the carpet, and tucks his head down against his knees. he waits to hear the door close so he can try and stave off the panic attack he feels bubbling up like lava in his chest.

however, he only hears silence, and then the embarrassing sound of his breath catching in his throat as his body starts hyperventilating a little bit - he is mortified. he tries to calm down but this beautiful girl now hates him and he has no one to help him study and if he doesn’t study he’ll fail and if he fails he won’t get a degree and if he doesn’t get a degree he won’t be able to get a job and support his future dog children and take them traveling —

he feels a gentle hand in his hair, then hears the door fall gently closed. 

“jungkook, are you having an anxiety attack?” jieun’s gentle voice asks, close to his ear. her fingers run through his long hair, and each touch gives him an ounce of calm. 

face still tucked against his knees, jungkook nods. 

“do you want to be alone?”

he shakes his head,  _ no. _

“do you want me to get yoongi or would you rather me stay?”

jungkook’s whole body shudders - the space between his brain and tongue feels too big. 

she pauses for a beat, and then gently asks, “do you feel like you can speak right now?”

he shakes his head,  _ no _ , then cringes as another loud, wheezy inhale tears through his throat. tears form in his eyes. 

“ok - do you want me to leave and get yoongi?”

_ i don’t wanna be alone. please keep touching me. keep tethering me to the ground. i don’t know why i trust you but i do. _ he shakes his head quickly. 

“ok jungkook - i’m right here.” he feels her readjust on the ground, and now her criss-crossed legs are pressed against his. “you have nothing to be embarrassed about. i have anxiety attacks too, and we both know yoongi does as well. i’m happy to be with you right now, so you’re not wasting my time. no need to feel ashamed, ok?” 

he nods as he feels his body slowly escalating, breaths getting faster, lava rising and getting hotter. 

but as jungkook’s mind spirals into chaos, jieun’s fingernails scratch soothingly against his scalp, unaffected by his storm. 

“does it help when i touch you?” she asks.

_ yes _ , he nods fiercely, even as his breaths become more shallow and he starts crying audibly. but he needs more. he needs the weight of a body on his to keep him from flying away. 

“would it help if i held you?” 

for the first time he lifts his head up. tears are leaving ragged streaks down his certainly red face, his glasses are a tragic mess from the tears, and he needs a tissue. he doesn’t know how she heard his thoughts but he  _ does _ need to be held. badly.

but he absolutely doesn’t want jieun-noona to feel uncomfortable. he’s a stranger. and a man. he tries to communicate this worry with his eyes since his speech is still too far away to reach. 

she stares back at him, discerning. “i don’t mind. i really understand, jungkook-ah. i need to be held when i’m like this. i’ve even made yoongi hug me before when i felt an attack coming, and he complained but he did it for me,” she smiles into his eyes, pouring out comfort with her gaze. 

jungkook keeps looking at her, nervous. her face softens when she sees his worried brow and says, “i like physical touch, jungkook-ah, and i haven’t been hugged all day. so i really don’t mind.” her fingers keep twirling through his messy hair, pulling a tiny bit at the nape of his neck, and it feels so unbelievably nice. “now jungkook-ah, do you want me to hold you?”

  
he looks her in the eye through all his tears, then pleadingly nods his head, _ yes. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow someone actually read this ahahahah - seriously tho thank you for reading!! leave a kudos if you want, so i know you exist hehe (only if you liked the chapter ofc) 
> 
> i’m editing the second chapter rn and plan to have it up soon! 💜 you are wonderful and loved and worthy of good things, pls remember <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jieun comforts jungkook during his anxiety attack while trying to ignore how attractive he is (good luck with that, jieun, lololol) - and she starts to realize how powerful the combination of music and jungkook’s touch is 🥰

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jieun’s POV now! there’s lots of snuggling and music ahead hehe
> 
> spoiler: jungkook's tattoos might make an appearance 😚 
> 
> tw: jungkook is still in the middle of his anxiety attack, so please don’t read this if it will trigger you!

before she’d decided to help jungkook through his anxiety attack, jieun had done a quick mental assessment: was she trying to live out some savior complex? was she here because she’d feel guilty if she didn’t stay? or because she feels obligated to do every nice thing that pops in her head? 

years ago, the answer to all those questions would have been  _ yes.  _ but after lots of therapy and learning to set healthy boundaries, she could honestly say  _ no  _ to all of them. and today, jieun has the mental and emotional space to show someone love, and it brings her joy to take care of people. so she decides to stay.

now that she’s confirmed her healthy headspace, jieun gets to work on her second mental priority: shoving down the thoughts of how obviously  _ beautiful _ jungkook is. 

the moment she’d seen him outside the music building - so big and handsome and bundled up in all black - jieun had felt an instant attraction. but knowing her past - how pretty boys never felt real to her, and how she’d resolved to run in the opposite direction whenever she saw one - she’d pushed the feelings away and joked around with him. but then he had to go and admit he was in pain and needed help instead of putting up some toxic, false front - and his gentleness and vulnerability are much harder to ignore than his perfect face. 

she shakes the thoughts from her head as best she can, then re-focuses on her present surroundings, e.g. noticing the sheen of perspiration on jungkook’s neck.

still stroking his hair, she asks, “jungkook-ah, can i take your jacket off? you’re sweating.”

he takes in another shallow, wheezing breath then nods, looking embarrassed. 

she uncurls his arms from around his knees and leans him away from the wall so she can pull his thick winter coat away. tossing it over his bag, she pats his lower back, asking him to move forward a bit. 

he inches away from the wall, and jieun scoots behind him. “is this ok? is this what you meant when you said it would help if i held you?” she asks. 

jungkook nods. 

jieun wraps her arms around jungkook, hugging his arms tight against his body as she adjusts her legs to lay on either side of him. her eyes go wide as she feels his muscles against her arms - and tries to focus on why she’s here: to take care of him. she clears her mind as best she can, then tries to share her calm, even as his strained breaths get faster and faster. 

jieun asks, “do you have an app on your phone or any audio you want me to play?” 

he shakes his head.

“do you have essential oils or anything in your bag you want to use?”

he shakes his head, slower this time.

“jungkook-ah, is it making you tired when i ask you questions? it’s ok if it is.”

he hesitates then nods,  _ yes.  _

“ok. if i do something that doesn’t help or makes you uncomfortable, will you shake your head for me?”

he nods once.

she thinks he’ll be more comfortable without his glasses, so she slides them off his nose and sets them to the side. she’ll definitely need to clean the tears off them later. then she snuggles tightly against him, placing her cheek against his back to provide as much grounding contact as possible. his back is so warm against her skin, and she becomes supremely aware of how comfy he is, and how nice he smells.

in order to help jungkook ride out his anxiety attack and also to distract herself from his coziness, jieun gives them something to focus on. 

“ok jungkook-ah. we’re going to breathe together - it’s called 7/11 breathing. we’ll inhale for 7 counts, hold for 3, then exhale for 8, since 3+8=11. ok, here we go. now breathe in - 1, 2, 3…”

jungkook can’t control his breathing at first and jieun can feel his anxiety over it.

“it’s ok baby, don’t worry if you can’t follow right away. anxiety attacks need to finish once they start, so it may take you a minute. you’re safe. i’ve got you. now try to breathe in slow for me, baby, if you can - 1, 2, 3, 4...”

she’s not sure why she’s calling him  _ baby,  _ except that the word feels soft and comforting. hopefully he’s not taking it the wrong way. 

after a couple minutes, jungkook is able to match her breaths even though his body still trembles slightly. jieun decides to be a little more bold - she pushes his bent knees down so his legs are flat on the floor. then, propping her chin on his shoulder, she squeezes him tight again, swinging her legs around to cradle him even more thoroughly. her ankles are crossed in front of him now, and, well … she feels like a happy koala bear. she’s comfy. and she hopes he is too. 

“i’ve got you baby. you’re safe. noona’s gonna take good care of you, jungkook-ah.”

at her own words, something warm starts to bloom inside jieun’s chest. it’s small, but somehow this man she’s known for only a few minutes is softening something inside her. her protective instincts are kicking in for someone besides herself, and she knows this won’t be the last she sees of this boy. 

as she continues to watch the anxiety attack ride itself out, she tries to think of other ways to soothe him, then gets an idea. it’s kind of embarrassing, but jieun finds her own singing voice calming. she often records voice notes on her phone and plays them when she needs to get out of her head. 

maybe it’s presumptuous to think her voice will comfort jungkook? who knows, but it can’t hurt to try.

“hey jungkook-ah, noona has an idea - i’m gonna sing for you, and maybe it will help your body calm down, ok?” 

jungkook makes a tiny squeaking sound, freezes, then nods fiercely. 

jieun takes in a preparatory breath, feels nervous for a moment, then starts to sing.

her soft, breathy voice fills the room. this isn’t the classically trained, perfectly supported voice she uses for her university assignments, but the one she uses when she’s singing in the car, or recording songs with yoongi. she feels jungkook relax a little in her arms, and she smiles.

the song she’s singing is unfinished - it’s a part of the senior composition project she has with yoongi. but the lyrics are light and nostalgic and hopeful, and it seems like something jungkook could use right now. 

she vocalizes through the sections with unfinished lyrics, and then somehow, for some reason, while she’s pressed up against the most beautiful boy she’s ever seen, jieun thinks about how much she’s grown. she used to agonize over lyrics to the point where she never finished writing anything. but now, as she’s spent more time with yoongi, she’s learned to let the words flow without judgement. this song is easy, uncomplicated, and in her opinion, truly beautiful. 

she notices movement outside the glass door and turns to see an alarmed yoongi standing outside. he motions, asking if he should come in or leave them be. 

jieun doesn’t want to tire jungkook with questions - he’s trusting her to lead things right now, and she thinks he could use his hyung. she motions with her head for yoongi to come in, all the while continuing to sing about islands and orange sunlight and dreams. 

yoongi steps in the room and whispers, “hey kook-ah, hyung is here.” he pats jungkook’s hair then moves to sit at the piano. yoongi raises his eyebrows at jieun and points at the piano keys, and she nods. it takes him a moment to find the key she’s singing in (not everyone has perfect pitch, ok?), then starts playing along as she serenades their anxious boy. 

jungkook’s able to follow the breathing pattern for the most part now. he starts tapping the beats of it against her leg - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 - to the rhythm of hers and yoongi’s song. 

jieun gets another idea. she rests her chin on jungkook’s right shoulder and releases her hold around his arms. after wrapping her left hand back around his stomach, she covers his tapping right hand with hers for a moment. then, she gently strokes his arm over the loose, long sleeve, still singing softly in his ear. he lets out a sigh and slumps back, leaning his head against her shoulder. jungkook is heavy as hell, so jieun’s glad for the support of the wall behind her, else she’d topple right over. she’s a little squished, but she’s not complaining. 

as jieun sings through the bridge, continuing to scratch jungkook’s arm, yoongi starts harmonizing. compared to the lightning fast, fierce rapping style he uses on side projects, his voice is warm now. not trained, but still sweet and resonant alongside hers. yoongi adds more color to the piano accompaniment, throwing in more major 2nds and perfect 4ths to make the sound even brighter and more redemptive. 

the emotion of the music fills the room as jungkook continues to come down from his anxiety attack. jieun’s voice gets a bit stronger as she tries to infuse him with the courage to feel what he’s feeling, grounding him with her touch and her voice.

eventually the lyrics run out, but yoongi keeps playing. without the singing to hold her focus, jieun notices that jungkook is starting to feel  _ really _ warm against her body. she pushes his loose, long sleeves up beyond his elbows and continues running her fingers over his arm. only now she notices the ink covering his soft, golden skin and realizes again how strong he is, with all that muscle pressing against the gorgeous designs. her heart does a funny thing, then. she tries to shove the feeling down.

jieun looks away from the tattoos even though she wants to study them - hell, get a degree in them.  _ jieun, darling. you. don’t. like. pretty. boys. remember how you resolved to never date a pretty boy again? it never ends well.  _ but it’s hard to remember her past heartbreaks when she’s chest to back with this sweet man, taking care of him, feeling him calm down in her arms to the tune of her musical creation. 

she continues moving her fingers over the words and images painted on his stupidly soft skin, up past his elbow then back down again. jungkook faithfully practices his controlled breathing, shuddering more infrequently now, still relaxing back against her. 

yoongi’s fingers slow on the piano, ending with a soft, low octave, but the magic of the song lingers in the cramped room beneath the twinkle lights. yoongi steps over and grabs jungkook’s shoulder awkwardly, giving it a squeeze. “kook-ah, i’m going to get you a cold bottle of water and a snack to help you recover. i’ll be back. jieunnie will take care of you.”

yoongi nods at jieun, a serious, grateful look in his eyes, then steps out the door. 

now with both yoongi _and_ the music gone, jieun has nothing to distract her from how perfectly her body fits against jungkook’s. she has an urge to press her lips against his neck, just to see what it feels like, just to make him feel a little better - but she  _ knows  _ that’s a bad idea. well, her brain knows it’s a bad idea. he’s vulnerable right now, and just …  _ no.  _

then she notices the gleam of sweat on the skin she wants to kiss so badly - and snaps out of it. he is seriously overheating now.

“jungkook-ah, are you getting too hot?” 

he lifts his head up from her shoulder and waits a beat. nods. 

“ok. i’m going to stop hugging you, but i’m not going anywhere - i just want you to cool off, baby.” 

he nods again and hums as she strokes his arm one last time. 

jieun scoots out from behind jungkook and helps him lean back against the wall, being sure to keep contact with him as she moves away. she faces him, leaning her shoulder and head against the wall a few inches from his, and starts scratching his other arm after blowing softly against his neck to help him cool down. 

he leans his head back, eyes closed, mouth hanging open a little. he’s depleted. she knows the feeling. 

“you survived it, jungkook-ah. you did well.”

he turns his head and gazes at her, a soft, weary smile on his lips. she notices the mole under his mouth. then promptly tries to forget about it. after a moment, he leans closer, nearly touching his forehead to hers, and whispers, “guitar, noona?”

jieun’s heart speeds up for … reasons. “you want me to play my guitar for you?” she whispers back, warmth filling her chest.

he nods,  _ yes _ , then closes his eyes and touches his forehead to hers, sleepy. his long, dark hair tickles her nose. 

“of course, baby.” she smiles and strokes his hair for a couple minutes longer than she intends to. when she finally convinces herself to take her hands off him, she slowly stands up, feeling both relieved and deprived as she puts space between them. “i’ll be right back.”

jieun stumbles out and grabs her beloved taylor guitar from the practice room a few doors down. after wrestling the heavy door open again with her instrument in hand (an impressive feat), she sits down, but this time a few inches away from jungkook. she thinks a little space is a good idea. maybe? she misses the contact even as she re-tunes the instrument to DADGAD, aka the most soothing of all guitar tunings (in her opinion at least - but she’s definitely willing to get in a fight over it). 

jieun bends over the strings, letting her instrument draw her focus away from the sweetness of the boy beside her. she starts plucking, creating melodies and harmonies, softly singing nonsense over the warm sounds her fingers produce. she peeks over at jungkook, curious about whether he’s enjoying her music, and sees that he’s smiling softly, eyes closed, relaxed. she smiles back even though he can’t see her, then returns her focus to the frets and strings, letting herself be swept away in the soft emotions being emitted from the sound panel. 

after a few minutes, jieun feels a warm weight press down on her outstretched legs. she looks up to see jungkook laying on his back, his head resting on her thighs just below the spot where the guitar is sitting. he looks up at her and asks “ok?” with his hands. she feels warmth bloom deep in her stomach - something about jungkook’s touch combined with music is really affecting her - and after panicking a moment, hating herself for being attracted to him, jieun decides to let herself feel for once, to stop protecting herself so obsessively. so she smiles, nods, and continues singing. 

soon, two overwhelming things happen, causing jieun’s mind to overheat:

first, jungkook starts vocalizing with her, harmonizing like yoongi did. but it’s different - his voice is breathy and soft yet strong and clear, and it makes her feel like every wrong thing in her heart has been made right. is it possible to fall in love with a voice?

second, he starts stroking the bottom half of her leg over her dark red tights. she’s not sure that he’s even aware he’s doing it. but her hands fumble a bit against the strings as she watches his fingers move gently over her leg, his eyes closed as he sings with her. 

_ damn it,  _ jieun thinks.  _ why do i want us to take care of each other forever?  _

jungkook, oblivious of jieun’s internal crisis, starts playing with the laces on her boots, then looks up at her and smiles. his body is spent, but eyes are filled with uninhibited affection as the smile takes over his entire face.

touch and music and sweetness are jieun’s love languages, and here in this musty, lamp-lit practice room with this sweet, beautiful man, she is feeling overwhelmingly loved. 

  
jieun looks into his big, sparkling, innocent brown eyes and  _ knows _ she’s a goner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading chapter 2! :D this is my first time really doing this so … thank you <3 
> 
> also, this story explains my experience with anxiety attacks, but everyone is different. feel free to tell me what yours are like in the comments, if you want to. i know some people hate being touched while it’s happening, but idk, it really comforts me a lot <3 
> 
> thank you to everyone who’s leaving kudos and especially the one comment - they make my heart happy!! also, i know where i want to go with chapter 3, so i'm def planning to finish this story!
> 
> pls remember you are amazing and loved and worthy of so many beautiful, good things <3


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